You And Your Big Head

In the words of Gary Vaynerchuk, host of The Shooooooowwwwwwwwwwww, “MAKE EGO A GOOD WORD!”

But most people give this word a negative connotation.

Maybe it’s because we commonly hear about people with big egos as being unfriendly, unhelpful, unapproachable, or downright jerks.

Maybe you’ve been accused of doing this within your marriage.

But let’s face it, no one wants to follow or listen to someone that won’t look you in the eye, rarely speaks their mind, won’t complete a thought/sentence, or doesn’t have an action plan to complete their goals.

Or maybe they don’t even have any goals.

But there’s a double-edged sword. Those people with strong, confident egos must be humble enough to NOT be pretentious…but confident enough to be influential.

However, that can be detrimental to a marriage.  In other words, a strong ego can push your wife away and make her feel smothered, unimportant, and angry.

To be influential (in a positive and loving way), a strong ego is often noticed, but NOT always respected.

Why?

Because a strong ego gives an aura of confidence and leadership. It doesn’t allow the person to be pushed around or easily persuaded. A confident person makes an informed decision and runs with it; dealing with the ramifications as they come, good or bad.

A strong, confident ego gives you the energy to push through the tough times, stay up late to finish your work, wakes you up early to work on a project, and just plainly FORCES you to outwork your competition and provide for your family.

But this can be a double-edged sword that will come back around and haunt you because if you allow your ego to drive you to work too much, then you’re taking time away from your wife and family…which is ultimately what they want from you.

THAT is what you need in order to be successful in marriage…a strong ego that pushes you to do more and be more…but also spend more!  Spend more time with your family and the funny part is that spending more time with your wife and family is what will ultimately bring you the fulfillment that your ego is craving.

Successful people often have big egos.

Is it because of fame? Money? Stuff? Connections?

Maybe…

But if you’re like me, you get a certain high, a head rush, when you help other people achieve their dreams and goals because of the guidance I have given them. It gives me the confidence to do better and be better so that I can help more people accomplish their dreams and goals of saving their marriage.

And speaking of helping others, having a strong ego is a byproduct of being persuasive and influential.

But like I said earlier, there is a fine line between being an egotistical jerk and having the confidence to know how and who needs your help the most.

People with big egos are often very helpful. They know how to take charge and what actions to take to get things done.

Strong egoed people are busy people with many things on their plate. They don’t have time to play the guessing game or answer [dumb] questions.  Because of this, they know their value and may come across as being very blunt or cold.

Don’t misinterpret this bluntness or coldness.  Lean upon your personal judgment to determine the difference in these situations.

You see, people with strong egos are NOT wishy-washy. You know where they stand. Their confidence, propelled by their ego and combined with a lack of time and increased expectations, pushes them to get to the point quickly.

That shows they’re a true leader.

And as a leader, you should know how to inspire and influence your followers in the direction of THEIR dreams…

NOT push them to do what you think is right…but to lead them in a way that will help them make the best decision of what to do for themselves.

And that is why successful people have big egos…

They’re driven and empowered by their own ego…and act as an inspiration and guiding light for those seeking better things for themselves.

Until next time, don’t let your ego get the best of you.

Philip Douthett