Therapy & Counseling Will Destroy Your Marriage

Since birth, society has trained us that solutions to marital issues, disagreements, and challenges are found within counseling and therapy.

But this thinking is outdated. The strategies and training that universities teach therapists and counselors are becoming increasingly ineffective for many reasons.

One of the most prominent reasons is the rapid and continuous changes in mindset brought on by access to resources and technology.

Social media has had a HUGE impact on the dynamics of all relationships, especially marriages.

Phones…

Apps…

The ease of access to information and other people…

Within minutes you can download a dating app, upload a few pictures, write a description, and start interacting with other people.

This type of technological access has shifted the mindset and actions of society.

For some people, it’s empowering to have the option to go and do as you damn well please.

For others, it’s scary and debilitating to know that your loved one can “connect” (I’ll let you decide what that looks like) with someone else in such a short time.

And the fear that your wife can reach out and connect with another man within minutes, even a local man, can leave you paralyzed and filled with anxiety.

But that begs the question: What are you doing, or NOT doing, within the marriage to make you feel like you should be worried that your wife is thinking that the grass is greener on the other side?

In other words: Where are you falling short in the marriage?

What areas of your lives (yes, both of your lives) are you NOT fulfilling and therefore giving your wife the thoughts of stepping out of the marriage?

Think about that for a minute.

Did you know that over 70% of couples that have gone through traditional counseling and therapy still get divorced?

With those stats, how is traditional counseling and therapy still considered a reliable way to work out the challenges of a failing marriage?

Here’s where a lot of people go wrong… they believe that traditional counseling and therapy is simply a place to vent, but that actually hinders the true purpose of the sessions.

The actual purpose is to work on improving, advancing, and maturing yourself.  The sad and frustrating truth is that most people don’t actually want to do the work necessary in order to improve.  This mindset, whether it is conscious or subconscious, is debilitating to the desired outcome because you’re blocking the ability to develop self-awareness and introspection.

Another thing that traditional counseling and therapy commonly do is incessantly discuss the pain of the past.  This often brings up painful feelings and emotions about the current situation.

Sure, it can help the client to understand some things about the past, but the failure point lies in a therapist’s or counselor’s inability to instill proper strategies, mindset shifts, and timely applications of how to resolve the issues at hand.

THAT IS KEY! READ THAT AGAIN!

True, genuine, and REAL improvements in one’s self is emotional, time-consuming, expensive, and uncomfortable which pushes many clients to drop out and periodically skip sessions.

If at any time you think that therapy or counseling is a place where you can vent and get the therapist or counselor to take your side, then you’re lying to yourself and robbing yourself of the glory that you can achieve if you actually do the necessary work needed to improve yourself, your life, and your marriage.

THAT’S 100% YOUR FAULT!

A counselor or therapist that is worth a damn is going to test your way of thinking, give you a series of challenges that you must complete, and demand that you follow through.

Any therapist that sits there and supports & validates your thoughts, words, feelings, and actions is simply a paid monkey in nice clothes. How does that actually help you?

HINT – IT DOESN’T!

You don’t build muscle when life is going smoothly and easily. You build muscle when life is challenging and you are being challenged.

In order to make MEANINGFUL advancements and positive shifts within yourself and your marriage, you must:

• Have an open mind
• Be willing to do the work
• Acceptive of critiques without getting defensive
• Set realistic expectations & goals
• Commit and actually follow through with all of your therapy sessions
• Openly discuss challenges that you’re working through
• Do the work even when you don’t feel like it
• Track your progress
• Look at the positive future instead of dwelling on the past which drags you down
• DO THE FVUCKING WORK!!!

At the end of the say, understand 2 key points:

1. If you’re unwilling to improve and advance yourself, then you’re wasting the time of the therapist and wasting your money for the therapist while that they listen to you needlessly vent.
2. Only you can control yourself and your actions, so thinking that going to therapy sessions with the intention to change someone else is idiotic.

Only YOU can change you!