Conflict often gets a bad rap. It’s seen as something to be avoided at all costs, a sign that something is fundamentally wrong. But through my own experiences, I’ve come to see conflict in a different light – not as a threat, but as an opportunity for growth and understanding.
When my wife and I find ourselves in the midst of a heated argument, I rarely shy away from it (there are times when I am careful of which battle I choose to fight though). Instead, I see arguments as a chance to confront hard truths. In the heat of the moment, we’re forced to confront our differences and confront the things that have been bothering us. It’s not easy, but it’s necessary for our relationship to grow.
Arguments Have Value
Arguments, when handled with care and respect, can be incredibly valuable. They force us (that includes you) to communicate openly and honestly, to listen to each other’s perspectives, and to find common ground. Through arguments, my wife and I have learned to understand each other better, to communicate more effectively, and to grow closer as a couple. Not only that, it brings about empathy, which is crucial within marriage, especially one that is troubled and struggling to stay together.
Choose To Break Destructive Patterns
Unfortunately, many men approach conflict with a mindset rooted in defensiveness and ego. I’ve seen this time and time again within my practice. They often see arguments as battles to be won, rather than opportunities for mutual understanding (remember – empathy is crucial). But this mindset only serves to perpetuate the cycle of conflict, leaving both of you feeling unheard, misunderstood, and resentful.
To break free from this pattern, men need to approach conflict with humility and openness. Instead of trying to win and being fueled by ego, they should focus on listening and understanding their wife’s perspective. By doing so, they can build a stronger, more resilient relationship.
Furthermore, this idea of seeking to understand your wife and her perspective innately invites the emotions of gratitude, and curiosity, and brings about a softness towards your queen.
Conflict is not always easy, but it’s an inevitable part of any relationship. By embracing it and confronting hard truths, my wife and I have been able to strengthen our marriage and deepen our connection, and you can do the same. So the next time you find yourself in the midst of an argument, don’t shy away from it. Instead, see it as an opportunity for growth and understanding.
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