Your Marriage Resolution Strategy Sucks! This Is What Actually Works

Chasing elusive solutions, or what you think are solutions, while your marriage crumbles, will be a slow death. You’re jumping from program to program, seeking answers in seminars, and drowning in a sea of information.

Your relentless pursuit for online solutions is a façade, a way to avoid doing the real work. In other words, that so-called “help” actually gives you a false sense of accomplishment. Sedating yourself with constant distractions only delays the inevitable.

The truth is I want you to win, and it hurts to witness some of you sabotage your own chances. Outsourcing your laziness and attempting to buy your way out of the challenges – it won’t work. I’ve been there, and I know.

Facing your demons, becoming resourceful, and embracing the discomfort of growth is the only way forward. Ignoring issues won’t make them disappear.

The work you’re avoiding won’t vanish after reading another book or chatting with a buddy. It’s here to stay, demanding your attention. The path to the marriage you desire requires effort and commitment. Let’s break this down…

  1. The Vicious Loop: Many of you are caught in a loop, shifting from one program to another, attending seminars, and consuming endless content. While you’re busy chasing solutions, your wife’s patience wears thin, and the emotional distance between you two continues to grow.
  2. The Facade of Progress: Constantly seeking online solutions might feel like progress, but it’s often a way to avoid the real work. Podcasts, YouTube videos, books, and blog posts won’t replace the tangible actions required to salvage your marriage.
  3. Sedating the Pain: Distractions like food, alcohol, and TV serve as temporary sedatives, allowing you to escape the discomfort of facing your marriage’s challenges. However, this only delays the inevitable and prevents true growth. *** HINT *** – Most men refer to this as “Working on myself” but in reality, they do it incorrectly and it makes the situation worse. I’ve seen this happen time and time again.
  4. The Call to Action: It’s time to shift from avoidance to action. Your marriage deserves more than a facade of progress. Instead of outsourcing your effort or attempting to buy your way out of challenges, it’s time to face your demons head-on.
  5. Embrace Discomfort: Growth comes from embracing discomfort and doing the work that you might hate learning. Ignoring issues won’t make them disappear. It’s about getting clear on what you want and understanding the price that must be paid to achieve it in your marriage. Weak men run away at this step.
  6. The Path Forward: The work you’re avoiding won’t vanish with the next self-help book or conversation with a biased friend. Of course, they’re going to tell you what you want to hear in an effort to make you feel better … but what good does that do in your situation? Anyway, the path to the marriage you desire requires effort, consistency, and dedication.
  7. Ownership and Accountability: If you’re unwilling to do the work, own that decision. Stop pretending the pain will fade on its own, and don’t expect miracles if you persist down the same path that has continuously brought you failed result after failed result. It’s time to break free from the cycle and choose action over avoidance.

If you’re not willing to put in the work, that’s fine, but you must be okay with the outcome. Stop pretending the pain will fade on its own, and don’t expect miracles if you persist down the same path that you’ve been going down. Choose action over avoidance … and … commitment over complacency. Your marriage deserves more, and so do you.

 

Philip Douthett
The Men’s Marriage Mastery

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