An MRI test performed by Willward Brown revealed their findings of how people reacted and what parts of the human brain lit up while reading, hearing, and seeing marketing messages.
The part of the brain that lit up the most on their MRI scans is called the âamygdalaâ which is responsible for emotions, decision making, and memory. Â Simply put, people have emotions attached to memories and based on those memories, they make [emotional] decisions.
Cool.
Why does this matter to you?
Well, there are certain human emotions that you must elicit (form a reaction) when it comes to connecting with your wife. Â Doing so gets her to react in a way that is satisfying to both of you, NOT just you.
You’re a joined unit…this isn’t just about you.
And when it comes right down to it, you have to “sell” yourself to your wife quite often. Otherwise, your marriage is just a fruitless hobby.
With that said, realize that there is literally no reason for Lamborghini to exist.  All we really need for transportation is a small engine, a wooden seat, and 4 wheels.  Buying a Lamborghini is purely a purchase based on emotion in an effort to satisfy an emotional want or voidâŠbut the cars themselves are not a necessity.
But that necessity is what you want to highlight.
Many men miss this point and the marriage runs dry.
Keep in mind that there is a fine line between need and want.
People may need a car but they want a Lamborghini. Â Wanting something is tapping into the amygdala and affecting your habits.
Now letâs shift gearsâŠThe thought of selling something to someone is often a thought filled with uncertainty and fueled by fear.
Many people, male or female, fear the idea of having to sell themselves to their spouse.
Look at this from the POV of your wife. You want to “sell” yourself and your value to your wife, but she may not be in the “buying” mood.
When you buy something, youâre flowing money through the economy and keeping it afloat. Â If everyone stopped doing that, the entire marketplace/economy would implode.
So, your duty is to hop aboard the money-flow train, insert yourself into the âsystemâ and ride it for all itâs worth.
I encourage you to do that with your wife.
Now, letâs clear the air on how people think about selling. Â What word, that starts with the letter âPâ do you think of when thinking about selling?
I would venture a guess that itâs âpressure.â
Most people think about pressuring someone into making a buying decision and that thought makes them despise anything having to do with sales.
However, if youâre going to selling something, you need to change your thinking from pressuring people to persuading them into making an informed purchasing decision.
These are two very different mindsets.
But if you’re pressuring your wife, she will probably pull away like someone would when they’re feeling pressured by a used car salesman.
Look at it this way:
Pressure â often leaves you and your wife feeling uneasy and unsure about one another and the situation. Â She may even be scared away completely.
Persuade â both parties have an agreed upon mutual understanding and respect through a moral exchange. Â Your wife leaves feeling confident in her decision whether she “purchased” or not.
So, your goal as a husband is to persuade your wife to “purchase” from you.  Itâs NOT to pressure her and make her feel dirty when she walks away. You must encourage her to “do business with you” in exchange for something of value that you provide.
Doing so stimulates the amygdala and prompts the emotional response to be drawn towards you.
Those emotions are what you want from your wife.
– Philip Douthett
How do you persuade them when someone else also may be persuading them?
The answer is actually more simplistic than you may expect. Simply put, you must be consistent and persistent in your endeavors. The greatest and most powerful way to ‘persuade’ someone, anyone, is to lead by example. Be the example that you want to see and feel.
Now, when you say that “someone else may be persuading…” that implies that you’re not 100% sure if she is being persuaded by someone else. It leaves doubt. So I’m advising you to NOT give into that doubt, fear, and uncertainty. You shouldn’t care because it will cause confusion, frustration, and a clouding of your actions, judgment, and thoughts. Sadly, that’s easier said than done.
Stay strong to your values, take ownership of everything in your life, have a plan of action, and execute without reservation. When YOU are confident and filled with integrity, no one can fault you for being true to your values. And not only that, it’s sexy and attractive to your wife because she can literally witness with her own eyes that you’re LEADING your life and the family, with consistency and persistence, to a greater version of growth and life.
Additionally, ignore the fact that someone else “may be persuading” your wife because there’s nothing that you can do about it…you cannot control that other person’s actions, words, or thoughts. Focus on what YOU can do and LEAD the marriage by example through consistent and persistent loving actions.
So what can i do if someone is trying to pursuade her? Is there anything i can do to stop that at all?
The best thing you can do is ignore the other guy. Literally. You have to take a look at your focus & attention. Where, what, and who are you giving your focus? If you’re thinking about this other guy and focusing on what you could do to stop him, then you’re trying to control something that is ultimately out of your control. What you can control is you – your thoughts, actions, and focus. Focus on the changes that you can make. When you do that, you will be able to lead the relationship in any direction that you wish. The trick, however, is knowing what to do and when to do it. It’s a ‘science.’
Also Jose, read the answer that I gave above to MarkAnthony. That will help you as well. đ
My wife left and barely talking to me she also just filed for divorce last week. It seems like when she finally talks to me like once or twice a week she’s trying to see if what she’s doing is making me mad but once she hears that I’m not mad at her and that I still love her and just wants to try to still work things out she will stop talking to me for several days. It’s like she’s afraid to talk to me what should I do then
My wife won’t talk to me and says that she has filed for divorce and keeps telling me to leave her alone and to knock my shit off for texting her and saying that I love her and posting memories onto her Facebook account and phone and the more that I do that the madder she gets with me and I just dont know what else to do
The more you do that, the worse things are going to get between you two. Your marriage is too fragile to handle those types of actions, especially if those actions are made public. For example, posting memories on her FB wall, which I would assume is public, only increases her irritation because she doesn’t want other people to be asking questions or having any type of influence over her in reference to your marriage issues. In these situations, she probably wants everything to “just go away” in an effort to reduce the pain she feels about the marital issues. In other words, your actions are smothering her. There’s no quick fix, magic button, or switch that you can hit to turn everything around. It’s going to take an executable plan-of-action that targets her heart, not her head. I’m very confident that by continuing to do what you’re doing is going to come back and haunt you.
I recommend scheduling a time to speak with someone from my team so they can point you in the right direction and get you the help you need. You’re on borrowed time here, so the longer you stir in inaction and confusion, the worse things are going to get.